Broken Bonds and Psycho Killers
There is a reason I am so adamant about the importance of a healthy bond between parents and children, and breastfeeding.
It’s because of what I have personally witnessed when that healthy bond is broken.
I was fortunate enough to work for a therapist who was very highly trained and specialized in working with children with Reactive Attachment Disorder.
These are kids who do not have a healthy bond with a primary caregiver.
With these children the bond was not broken because of anything they did, it was because of abuse or neglect that they went through from parents or caregivers (or I should say NON-caregivers).
These children went through a variety of abuses so horrible it’s hard to talk about it, but I will because so few people get to see what happens because of abuse like this.
Some of the abuses these kids went through were:
being tied up with tight ropes around their necks to bed posts etc,
not being fed and having to literally dig through the garbage to eat anything at all though the parents ate well and hardy,
various forms of sexual abuse ie: being sat on by the mother to give her oral sex, etc.,
being left at random people’s houses (of course went to for parties) for days on end not knowing if the mother would ever return,
being shot up with heroin as babies and toddlers so they would “shut up”
and all sorts of other abuses.
These children were placed with other families who had to deal with the aftermath.
The results of these trauma’s were:
We had a girl who was so severly damaged by this abuse they would literally just rock in the corner and scream to herself. She was diagnosed with autism and as we worked with her she came out of it and it was discovered that she wasn’t autistic in the least. She was just terrified. This same girl tried to cut off her little 1and1/2 year old brother’s hand with a paper cutter at her foster/adoptive home, liked to run away and would smear her poop all over the walls.
Her sister who sexually abused the younger girls in the home.
A boy who was raging all the time, destroying items in the home, and sexually abusing his niece.
Another girl who heard voices in her head and hovered over her parents and siblings at night with knives.
She was obviously locked in her room at night after that to protect the family while we worked with her. She horded food and we found pee in paper cups under her bed that she was storing.
A different girl would cut off her eyelashes and kill small animals on their farm.
Another boy who suffered sever learning disabilities, would try to set the shed and house on fire continuously, and who ended up being untreatable and ended up in a mental institution for the rest of his life.
These are only a few of the many I worked with.
These children, though very young, were very good at lying and getting people to believe they were perfectly fine and that the new parents were the ones with the problems, including therapists untrained to deal with this problem.
Of course there was plenty of evidence that these actions were really taking place and they would openly, defiantly do so even in front of anyone who knew them well enough and were around them enough they couldn’t hide it from them.
These children were literally the pshycotic killers of the future if not treated properly.
These were very severe mental problems and actions and all because of a broken bond with a primary caregiver.
Of course it can’t happen when there is trauma and abuse taking place.
That bond is THE most important thing that any child can have to be mentally healthy, well adjusted, be able to think clearly and problem solve, and to trust that there is a place in this world where they are safe.
And breast feeding nourishes that healthy bond.
There are 7 very specific things that create that bond. Vocal connection, skin connection and eye contact being a few of them. All of which are provided during nursing.
When our children have that healthy bond, feel that safety, and know they are well cared for then they have a path open to them for success, good relationships, happy friendships, a caring heart, good cause and effect thinking, fun, and opportunities for all the good things that life has to offer.
It is sooo vital to creating a world where people don’t have to be afraid of what’s lurking down dark alleys.
That is why I won’t support any site that censors breastfeeding.
Eldra McCracken
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Eldra McCracken
http://www.beautifulwarriorwomen.com
Eupemia Said on April 22nd, 2009 at 5:59 pm quote
You write very well.