Dreams
Do you ever have dreams about stopping cruddy people from hurting others?
I don’t usually, but did last night.
Some guy was abusing his 3 or 4 yr old daughter and baby, choking them and slamming them against a the wall of a store.
When I stepped in to stop him, he turned and began to attack me.
So I just started picking targets and in no time he was laying on the ground with crushed testicles and a broken ankle and knee. 
Now normally I wouldn’t be one to smile at that sort of an end, but I do now because it shows me how far different my life is from when I was scared to death all the time of any one bigger or stronger than me.
I used to be the one who would run terrified in any dream involving danger, or hesitate to step in — afraid of exactly what the guy did — that he would turn on me, and I would be hurt!
Now my mind is in such a different place. This dream made that VERY obvious to me.
It’s so refreshing that I can’t help but smile!
It’s nice to feel the confidence that I can handle people like that. The knowledge that even if my verbal skills (which obviously I would use first) wouldn’t take care of it, then at least I wouldn’t be in harms way.
That’s a really good feeling.
Now it’s probably important to address the fact that it’s not usually a good idea to step into other peoples situations unless you know the whole story or it’s an intimate family member you’re protecting.
You open your self up for a lot of legal liabilities usually.
But somehow I think that if it was little children who were obviously dong nothing to provoke the man and who was obviously hurting them VERY badly, that it would be appropriate to step in.
Of course I’m not an attorney. And the laws would make that a different situation in every state. But I don’t think I could just stand by and do nothing in a situation like that.
I would just hope that the Jury (common law juries have this power) would say that it was appropriate to step in and that any crappy laws that would punish anyone for helping little children that way would be inapplicable in that situation.
Just keep in mind that sometimes people end up being screwed for doing good deeds because of bad laws or good laws inappropriatly used.
This is why VERY often people will not step in to assist someone being attacked. They are afraid of legal liabilities.
So just know if it’s worth it to you before you stepped in.
Eldra McCracken
http://www.beautifulwarriorwomen.com
© BeautifulWarriorWomen.com All rights reserved. Not to be reproduced in whole or in part without written consent of Eldra McCracken.
April 18th, 2008 at 11:18 am
It isn’t very often that I feel weak or powerless, but tonight, I feel it! I’m going through a divorce with a bipolar manic depressive man and it’s been an emotional roller coaster. it started out with him saying he couldn’t stand living with me anymore, we’re getting a divorce and selling the house, splitting the profits. then he flipped again and said I don’t want to lose you, I love you too much. Then it flipped again and he threw my stuff, my kids stuff in the street and told me pretty much to go f**k myself. Then he flipped yet again and said I still love you and we will work this out, now comes the final flip and he says i’m a lying cheating slut who doesn’t deserve $50 on the street. So after all of that, in the last month I am an emotional wreck and I can’t even cry! I have 2 kids, (not my husbands) who I have to be strong for and try to hold the three of us together, when he flips and flips and flips and takes me on this nauseating ride with him! I am asking for a little bit of encouragement from some strong women, a little bit of help holding on and keeping my sanity in a very insane world!! I’m waiting for court and a chance to move on (that’s not my fear though, my fear is that he won’t let this whole thing go, and I’ll die with this insanity lingering over my head!) I just need a little help being strong!
Thanks for letting me vent, I appreciate it, I feel a lot better!
Jolene V-M
Lander,Wyoming
April 18th, 2008 at 11:20 am
Wow, girl!
I can relate to the whole flipping back and forth thing. My ex psycho boyfriend that I wrote about on my site was like that.
All I can say is get yourself some people to support you through this, and stay in as little contact as possible with the guy.
That’s about the only thing you can do.
I congratulate you for having the guts to go to court and get it settled legally instead of riding the emotional roller coaster with him permanently.
Unless he gets the help he needs with therapy and perhaps drugs, it will never change.
Kudos for your courage!
If he doesn’t let it go, that’s his problem.
Figure out what works for you to know how to keep safe. I know how violent these people can get when they are raging.
And then you will know that even if he doesn’t let it go, that you don’t have to be a victim.
And if he is violent, bring it up in court and ask for sole custody with only limited and/or supervised visitation. Then you can limit contact as much as possible for yourself and keep the kids in a more stable situation.
My husband’s ex is violent and has anger control problems and the judge put a ” no contact” order on her. She is not allowed to contact him of rany reason, and can only set up visitation by working through a third party, not allowed to have alcohol, etc.
That is something you might want to look into as well.
I’m glad you feel safe venting to me, and if you don’t mind I’d like to reprint this (I can leave your name out if you wish) so that other women going through something similar can feel they aren’t alone and learn from the tips I just gave you!
Anytime you want to write, do!
Eldra McCracken
(Reprinted here in the blog.)
April 18th, 2008 at 11:21 am
Good evening,
Well since I wrote that the insanity has died down, (for now???) And that’s good, I’m glad that you wrote back and gave support. I think I’ve always known what to do, it’s just been kind of a scary thing to actually do it, but I’m well on my way and I don’t fear anything. I feel strong, confident and brave! I totally appreciate your words of encouragement, and I wish you would reprint this and let all the women of this world that their are alternatives to living a nightmare!
Thanks again,
Jolene
April 18th, 2008 at 11:22 am
I will reprint it.
It’s okay to admit that it’s scary to make a change. It is scary.
Being brave just means walking through the fear and doing what is best anyway. Sometimes it’s little hesitant steps, until we gain confindence through those steps and then move more assuredly.
I’m glad you are feeling that confidence.
And don’t worry if it comes and goes. It’s okay to have meltdowns and then get back to it after you’re done. That’s all part of the process of working through a big shift like this.
Take care!
Eldra McCracken
April 18th, 2008 at 7:57 pm
Hi - I just wanted to say how much I enjoy your blog. After the last post, I thought it had shut down, but I’m really pleased to see you still up and running!
Keep going!
Cheers
Russ
———————–
www.russellwhitfield.com
www.myrmidonbooks.com/new_titles_gladiatrix.html
April 18th, 2008 at 8:00 pm
….and that will teach me for not refreshing my broswer (I’ve had the page open since yesterday, but not sent the message). I’ve just viewed all the comments on this post, and it only goes to confirm what I thought in the first place: the blog and the website are an inspiration.
Cheers
Russ
———————
www.russellwhitfield.com
www.myrmidonbooks.com/new_titles_gladiatrix.html
April 18th, 2008 at 10:42 pm
Hi, Russ. I see you’ve written a book about Gladiatrix! How very cool.
Let me know if you want to put a photo ad up on my site.
Eldra
April 19th, 2008 at 6:11 am
Hi Eldra
Well, I was pretty lucky to be published as many people will tell ya! Totally up to you about putting a picture on your site, I’d be very honoured if you did, but I realise that there is only one Eldra and so much to do!
Do you know much about ancient Rome and the female gladiators? I’ve done a bit of research as you can imagine!
Cheers
Russ